Mental Health Moments: How To Be Accessible Without Compromising Who You Are

⌛  By Kaylin R. Staten ⌛

As a public relations practitioner -- or a communicator in general -- you are initiated with the expectation that you MUST deliver everything on a silver platter to everyone at all times. 

That makes total sense most of the time. After all, as PR pros, we want our clients’ and organizations’ messages to be heard and seen exactly how we released them to our target audiences. We don’t care to go that extra mile to ensure that a newspaper has a photo to run with the story or if a reporter from a news station calls us at the last minute for a soundbite for the 6 p.m. broadcast.

But, when are you being TOO accessible?

I spent the first half of my career (OK, if I’m being honest -- probably WAY longer than that) trying to be a people pleaser. I would respond to text messages and emails well into nighttime hours. I would work weekends with little to no downtime. I would pay too much attention to how I would be perceived if I said “no” to working on a particular project. After all, I was hyper-focused on building my career.

I would use my workaholic ways for everyone else’s advantage but my own. I was young, hardworking, and eager to make my mark on the world.

The fact of the matter is, we live in a 24/7/365 world, and it’s only going to elevate with the addition of even more technology into our lives. By the time I figured out that my mental health was greatly suffering, I was already a path that was hard to change.

How can you still be accessible without compromising who you are? Here are three ways that have helped me as I cultivate a better relationship with myself and my mental health:

Don’t care what people think.

As a people pleaser, this still gets underneath my skin. I don’t like to rock the boat, to say “no” when I have a passion for helping people. But, others can use that to take advantage of you, to say, “Oh, she will say ‘yes’ and do this project because she ALWAYS says yes.” I was that person for a really long time, especially in toxic work environments where I feared that I would be frowned upon and relentlessly talked about passive-aggressively if I didn’t give it my all every second of every day. As I have gotten older and grown into my own mental health and processes, I have realized that what people think of you doesn’t matter as much as what you think of yourself. So, be honest with who you are and what you want and need. If that means not taking on as many work projects or saying “no” sometimes (especially to unreasonable requests), you owe it to yourself to speak up. And not caring what people think is SO challenging for someone with a caregiver mentality, but I realized that it was literally eating me alive. Do what makes you happy at the end of the day.

Set boundaries.

This has gotten especially important as I have eased into maternity leave. I had to force myself to take a break, as I have never taken so much time off work in my entire working life. But, I wouldn’t miss this process for the world, as we wait for our son to grace us with his sweet presence and then spend much-needed time with him after he is born. This goes in line with knowing what you want and need from the previous point. Pay attention to what matters to you, and set boundaries from there. While I love to work, I also realize that I burn out really easily, which greatly affects my mood and how I feel in general. So, I keep regular work hours, typically don’t respond to messages and emails after work hours (unless there is an emergency or it’s pre-planned work), and don’t try to schedule a thousand meetings per day. On a personal note, I also have to remind others that I have to work, which means that I don’t get to do fun things sometimes. You can still show up personally and professionally, but you will have to set boundaries in order to accomplish your goals and take care of your mental health. Until you can have an android version of yourself, you cannot be in two places at once. There is a time for work and time for play, right?

This also includes setting boundaries with social media and other interactions. I still track my social media app usage on my iPhone. Right now, it’s still set on an hour and a half per day for all social apps. Of course, there are days in which I exceed that limit because of work reasons. And to be honest, also out of habit; however, when I notice that I am mindlessly scrolling my newsfeeds, I close the app. I don’t want to waste time like that anymore! 

Be accessible even when you’re off the grid.

So, I’ll let you in on a little secret. My blog posts from September and November are all automated. That means that I wrote them beginning in June and scheduled them in advance. There may be some exceptions, especially with current happenings, but for the most part, I have created evergreen content that will be relevant any time you read it. This is one way you can be accessible, even if you’re not physically present online or in person. Do a lot of the back-end work to save yourself some time, energy, and worry. Do as much in advance for all of those tasks that can still operate with you having to complete them in the present. You can still be accessible to your followers on social media, your clients, family, friends, whomever. Or hire someone and have limited accessibility with only a few people to manage overwhelm and maximize efficiency. Scheduling social media posts is also a win-win. Ensuring your content is still consistent, relevant, and timely will aid you as you take a much needed mental-health break, or in my case, maternity leave.

Please note: These blog posts are not clinical, although we will provide symptoms and other information. These posts are based on my experiences with anxiety and mental health in general. If you or someone you know needs help, visit a website like Mental Health America to learn more.

Mental Health Moments blog posts are every other Tuesday of the month. Our CEO and contributors highlight what it's like to live with a mental health disorder and continue to fight the stigma through storytelling.

Kaylin R. Staten, APR, is an award-winning, accredited public relations practitioner and writer based in Huntington, WV with 18 years of professional communications experience. As CEO and founder of Hourglass Media, she uses her compassionate spirit and expertise to delve into the heart of clients’ stories. She is a recovering perfectionist, mental health advocate, wife, Luke’s mom, cat mom, and Leia Organa aficionado. Connect with Kaylin on LinkedIn.